Fast food America loves it, I love it. And most people’s first introduction to it is the Happy Meal. You know, you’re four years old, you’re driving by those golden arches and suddenly you can buy a box with a smile on it, that comes with a toy? It’s genius. Today, I’m accepting the challenge from the other guys to turn a Happy Meal into a gourmet dish. Maybe. I’m not a chef, so let’s try. (intro music) The rules: I have to incorporate everything from the Happy Meal into the dish. The burger, the fries, the apple slices, and the apple juice. Rule number two, the other ingredients must also be from McDonald’s. So creamers, mustards, salt and pepper, sugar packets. That means the oil is going to come out of the french fries. We’ll see if that works. And lastly I have to present three identical dishes, to the judges, who will decide if it is in fact a gourmet dish or if I’ve just made garbage. My name is Zach and I’m one of the people that challenged Keith to this video, so it is only fair that I have to eat it. My name is Alex and I grew up in this house. My name is Jessica. I’m a marketing consultant. Some of my clients include Andy Ricker, Roy Choi. I often do taste testing before items go on menus. Um, yeah. Mm-hm – You’re way more qualified–
– Yeah. – –than anyone else in this episode
– Yeah. So, here’s my plan: I’m gonna try to make dumplings. I’ve never made dumplings. I guess they should be more like gyoza or empanadas. They’re gonna end up somewhere between a gyoza and an empanada, but it’s fine dining. It’s all about that micro, uhh… What i– Micro- what’s the word? What do people- Gastronomy! So, uh, my plan is to make two kinds of dumplings here. A savory dumpling, and then a sweet dessert dumpling. Empananda. Dumpanada? I’m making dumpanadas! First things first. I’m gonna just take all these burgers and separate them. I’m gonna take the burger buns and we have here a little bit of ketchup, a little bit of mustard, a single pickle and some chopped onions and I want to… try and get all the stuff off of them that I can. I’m going to take these three burger patties I’m just gonna chop ’em down, turn ’em back into ground beef. I’m gonna take these pickles, and I’m going to try and mince them up as small as the onions as well. Hey, did you know that pickles are relish? Well if you didn’t, now you do. I’m gonna put all of this ground beef into this bowl. Sort of mashed potato beefy texture, nice little savory, uh, pie. I just wanna mince these down, and I want to just sort of f**k ’em up Now, I want to mix them up with this beef but there’s like no moisture in any of this. I think I’m gonna go with hot mustard and maybe a little bit of tangy barbecue. Yeah, that should work fine together. I’m going to use half of this ketchup onion McDonald’s pepper. I didn’t know they had a hot mustard. Did you guys know they had hot mustard? The hot mustard is really gonna bring out the dumpling aspect of the dumpanada. Whereas, the sort of tomato base of the barbecue sauce is gonna bring that nada *Zach laughing* Looks… better. I haven’t used the pickles yet, huh? Huh. I should make that a sauce for these pies. Yes! We’re just gonna really go and lean into the dumpling angle We’re gonna try to keep this up with some of this sweet and sour sauce. Hmm. Maybe not. Yeah, maybe just stick with the mustard because there’s already mustard. You don’t wanna over complicate the dish. Well, it smells different but we’re going for it. We’re just gonna, just gonna put some ketchup in. You got it, Keith. I’m a little worried taking these buns apart that they aren’t going to squish down as much as I want it. Oh, yeah, I got it, look at it. (laughs) It kind of looks like a deflated football. I might have over-flattened this one. I didn’t. Oh, I got a hair on it. Bloop. (giggles) Look at that! That’s a little mound of meat! I’m going to just fold the ‘nada over. So the nice real dough you would just have to fork it shut. It actually kind of works. Not bad. Pretty dec’ F**k Ooh, this one is not looking as good. Well, it’s not holding up as much as I want it to which is bad because this is my whole plan for everything. Well this is — this is gonna work out just fine but we’re gonna put them next to each other. They don’t look terrible. They just don’t look as good as I want ’em to. You know, I’m not sure if this is gonna work at all, but I wanted to take the oil on the fries and get it off the fries. What if I heated them on the skillet? Will they leave their oil on the skillet? *making sizzling sound* The pans getting actually kind of oily. Huh. Working better than I thought. (whispering) Listen to them sizzle [fries sizzling close to the microphone] Yeah. That’s oil. – [Zach]: Wait. This a great ASMR. Can you just like–
– [Keith]: Is it? – (whispering) Um, today we’re making french fries A little– little Dumpanada You ‘oughta eat a dumpanada – [Zach]: wow, that was really-
– [Keith]: [normal volume] it was great? Now we need to make our sweet version So we’re gonna take these apples and we’re going to chop ’em up. Then we’re gonna cook ’em down with some sugar and some apple juice To try to make a little more of a pie filling syrup experience and get them just as small as possible, because… cause you don’t even know what you’re doing. Showing everybody right now in the video that you don’t know what you’re doing Trying to come up with a good concept, but instead of hiring a real chef you just thought “I’ll just do it. I’ll be the famous one. I’ll be the star” Burning. Really freaking out. *tense music* Sometimes you’re not supposed to be the star. This is, uh, not the right tool. Sometimes you just be a producer. Really thought it was gonna go a lot better. Maybe you could do the voiceover. Huh. *music gets more intense* Sh*t. *unintelligible bleep* apples. But no, you wanted to be the only person in the video for the first 6 or 7 minutes So this is what you get. *music suddenly stops* Let’s keep on mincin’! We got some sugar, some apples. Oh wow! it smells like Jolly Ranchers – [Zach]: Yeah, that’s a Jolly Rancher.
– [Keith]: They are similar. A nice sweet, candy taste. Water. Mix it. Gummy and doughy and bad. This is what I want, cause I want dough. So I’m gonna put apple juice into this to just make it a little less resilient. Aw man. This is all wet. After, I’m going to try to dust ’em with a little bit of sugar. Most of it is bouncing off hilariously. Guys. Everything is going really well. Woah! Babyyy! They’re browning! You know, it doesn’t look amazing but the cooking processes I imagined are kind of working. They just aren’t working as well as I wanted but they’re not totally not working! If nothing else, today I proved that there’s enough oil on french fries to fry food. I mean, I took french fries and I produced oil. It’s like Hanukkah! Jewish people celebrate oil. They love it. They can’t get enough. Hey, they party for eight days just for oil. We’re gonna go ahead and start– the plating. I always see people in the cooking shows do this I’m gonna put a little dollop. Hooah. Shwooah (laughs) Alright. Fwahhh It’s like a little comet. Good chef. I now present to you My first ever gourmet dish. The… beef and potato dumpanada? Served with a nice uh tomato and vinegar … sauce? For dessert we have a sweet apple dumpanada, arriving by turtle. Done. – [Zach]: Today, we are judging on three categories: Presentation, flavor, and is it gourmet? – [Alex]: I haven’t eaten at a McDonald’s since probably 1997 because I have a crippling fear of vomiting and I am afraid that McDonald’s will make me throw up. (Zach laughing) – [Jessica]: This is gonna be fun. – [Zach]: Well, let’s talk about the first category, presentation. What do we think of the plate here? – [Jessica]: I think it’s cute. This looks… very on trend. – [Zach]: It’s definitely an homage to something I’ve seen in a restaurant. – [Jessica]: There’s shmears. That’s super–
-[Alex]: Yeah, it sorta– – [Alex]: It sorta looks like a tomato skid mark. – [Jessica: This kitschy thing makes me want to take a picture. Which is you know, a big thing. We want to be Instagrammed – [Zach]: You know, I don’t wanna call it pretty, but it looks like a thing. – [Jessica]: I also don’t know how I’m supposed to eat this. – [Alex]: I guess it’s obvious that this is probably the- the dump- dumpurrito. Was that what it was? – [Keith]: *laughing* Yeah Okay – [Keith]: Dumpanada – [Alex]: Dumpanada okay – [Zach]: *laughing* dumpurrito – [Alex]: Okay, I think it’s obvious dumpaneedo would be northern (*others laugh at mispronunciation*) I’m sorry the dumpanada. – [Zach]: If we’re rating this on a scale of Da da da da da (McDonald’s jingle) Wait. Da da da da da That’s five. So how many Da’s? – [Jessica]: maybe a… da da. Sorry. – [Alex]: I think it’s pretty original. Like this is pretty cool. I’m gonna give it a two and a half. – [Zach]: So can you sing it?
– [Jessica]: Yeah – [Alex]: (sings) Da da d- *Zach laughs* – [Zach]: I love toys. I have never gone to a gourmet restaurant and- and been able to take some of it home with me. So for this little turtle alone, I’m doing full (singing) Da da da da Almost. Almost all the way. Time to eat. Oh boy. I don’t actually know what to do here. [chewing] Hm You know, dare I say it. Taste kind of exactly like a Big Mac (Alex laughs) – [Alex]: It tastes like if you just sort of like– you made a bunch of burgers the day before And you just kind of– well I got some leftover meat, might as well just scoop this in a little bowl and cook it up with some vinegar – [Jessica]: I’m still not tasting any meat. I’m tasting a lot of bun and a lot of fry. – [Zach]: The pickles are our real star here. They uh.. refuse to not shine through. – [Zach]: Yeah, welcome – [Jessica]: I like the softness. It’s kind of airy. – [Zach]: It started off as a very familiar taste. The sauce combo is bringing it somewhere else. – [Jessica]: It pulls it out and pulls out the other flavors. – [Zach]: I want another bite. – [Jessica]: I do too
– [Alex]: I just tasted ketchup. I don’t know. – [Zach]: Not only do I think its pretty good. I find myself going to take another bite and I don’t know if I can stop myself. – [Jessica]: I get it.
– [Alex]: Oh! – [Jessica]: I kinda get it
– [Alex]: Okay – [Zach]: Would you continue to eat that? – [Alex]: No I give it no Da’s – [Jessica]: Da da da
– [Alex]: Ooooh – [Zach]: I think I’m at the (sings) da da da da. Alright, judges, let’s move on to the desserts pinadala dumpling. Uh, I’m actually excited for this one. Also this looks like a smile. It’s very bready. – [Alex]: It kinda just tastes like bread and apples. I don’t know if I like this. It’s gourmet. – [Zach]: Um. Gourmet meals you cover up the things you spit out. – [Jessica]: I kind of agree with you that it tastes like bread and apples. – [Zach]: There are little burnt marks on mine. – [Jessica]: Mine’s sticky. Feels more like, um a breakfast-y thing than a dessert. – [Alex]: Da – [Jessica]: Da – [Zach]: Da da So now our final question. Is it gourmet? – [Jessica]: Gourmet typically uses like fine skills to create the dish. Often times, it’s doing something to a dish that you wouldn’t normally do. Visually it’s transformed, but I don’t think it tastes any different. – [Alex]: I don’t know much about gourmet food
– [Zach]: Yeah but I’m gonna go ahead and say no. – [Zach]: I’ve never had anything quite like this. When I bite into it I’m even more confused. And I think that’s what all hip chefs are trying to do. Confuse you into liking their meals. – [Jessica]: I don’t disagree. – [Zach]: Chef, if you’ll please join us. *Keith sighs* – [Keith]: Thank you all so much for enjoying my meal. – [Zach]: Chef, your meal brought me on a journey. Was it a good trip or was it a nightmare? I still don’t know But it is a meal that I will remember for the rest of my life. And for that I commend you. – [Jessica]: I don’t think the burger at McDonald’s needs to be redone But the way I eat it, can. I think that’s interesting. – [Alex]: It doesn’t matter what the flavors are, it’s always gonna be weird if you encase it in floppy bread. (someone snorts) – [Keith]: I see that the main dish was actually pretty okay. The dessert may be a failure. The presentation, some liked it, some didn’t. But at least it was visually transformed So do you think what I made could be classified as gourmet? – [Zach]: On a technicality. Maybe. Kinda.
– [Jessica]: We’re- We’re going to – [Zach]: We’re gonna say yes, we’re gonna say yes
– [Jessica]: Yeah, yeah. – [Keith]: You really think so? – [Jessica]: We’d be talking about it. – [Keith]: Her opinion matters the most because she actually kind of works in this- this field. So if you think even technically it’s gourmet then I f**king killed this sh*t. – [Zach]: It is a gourmet meal!
– [Keith]: This is not a waste! – [Keith]: This is not a waste of the day! I didn’t ruin a nice person’s kitchen for nothing! – [Keith]: Can I get a hug?
– [Zach]: You did it. – [Keith]: Can I come around?
– [Zach]: Get in here, chef. – [Keith]: Just gonna… – [Zach]: Yeahh
– [Keith]: Aww. Wow. And now this, is a happy meal. ♫ Cause I’m a winner ♫ *ding* (outro song) – [Keith]: And for you all at home, what should I try next? What do you want to see me make? What did I do wrong? Just give me all your thoughts. I know you’re gonna anyway. Do you think I’m cute today? Do I look nice in the apron? What else you got? Just give it all to me, negative and positive. I can take it! [guitar note]